Heart Sick
by tetsia.howard
Summary: Everyone returns to the past and all is well... at least on the surface. 6927 Rated T for mild language.


His Tsunayoshi-kun was sick. Really sick. Burning up with fever, moaning and thrashing in his sleep… and he kept being told there was nothing anyone could do. 'It just has to work through his system.' 'He'll be fine.'

Liars. Liars… He mopped the sweaty brow gently with a cool cloth, brushing brunet locks back away from his tense, closed eyes. He always looked like he was in pain… Soft lips rested on the too-hot forehead and he sighed. "Tsunayoshi-kun… come back…"

He was met with a soft moan, and a fluttering of caramel eyes before they crashed closed again. No… there was definitely something wrong. It was like he didn't want to wake up. He wasn't even trying, really. "Oya, my Tsunayoshi-kun… what's wrong? Where are you?"

"M-mukuro-kun…" The soft whisper, pained and weak, was the final straw. The blue haired Mist laid down next to the brunet, kissing his ear softly as he pulled him into his arms. What was the point in being the best illusionist in the world if he couldn't help his gentle lover when he needed him? (That baby could fall into hell… Mukuro had beaten him fair and square, Arcobaleno or not.)

"Hold on. I'm coming, Tsunayoshi-kun…." He whispered tenderly in the Sky's ear before closing his eyes. He wanted to see the little Vongola's dream world.

* * *

The sight that greeted him when he opened his eyes was… disturbing, even by his standards. Angry black clouds swirled in an orange sky, whipped into a frenzy by a howling wind. Bright flashes of lightning illuminated the clouds as a pouring rain drenched the illusionist to the bone. Despite the deluge, it felt like a sauna, so hot and humid it felt like the air itself was trying to suffocate him. Worried, he spun in a slow circle, looking for the creator of the distressed landscape. It took him a minute to find the soft auburn spikes, they were hidden by a thick ochre mist that surrounded him. He leaned against a sickly tree, arms around his knees as he stared down at something on the ground.

"Tsunayoshi-kun…" Mukuro made his way towards him unnoticed. As he got closer, he could hear the light voice of his lover, apparently talking to himself. His shoulders were bowed with grief and the illusionist couldn't help the rage that welled up at whatever had made the small Boss' lip quiver like that.

"I-I said I was sorry… I didn't mean it, but… I had to, didn't I? You would have killed all of us if I hadn't? I just… they don't understand… I know…"

Just as Mukuro opened his mouth to call out, a light, teasing voice answered Tsuna. It seemed to come from a pair of broken wings laying on the ground in front of him, and made the Mist slightly nauseous. He knew that voice… "Aw, Tsunayoshi-kun, but you're supposed to be such a GOOOOOOD guy… the white knight, the lawman… the cowboy. The man in the white hat…" Byakuran's voice chuckled as Tsuna flinched from each word.

"And you killed me too, Tsuna-kun. Don't forget that you weren't strong enough to save me, or Gamma." Yuni's clear, sweet voice piled on the accusations, making Tsuna gasp. Mukuro could now see the tears rolling down his cheeks, but he couldn't get to him. The noxious mist prevented him from getting close.

"I'm sorry… I tried, I really did. I just wanted us to return to the past… I just wanted them to be safe…"

"And they don't really care, do they, Tsunayoshi-kun? All that sacrifice, all the pain, and none of them have even noticed. It's because they don't care, you know. If any of them cared, you wouldn't be in this position. You wouldn't be a killer. Because they would have listened to you from the beginning and not forced you to be in the Mafia. And they call themselves your family? You mean nothing to them, dear Tsunayoshi-kun."

"Really… even **my** family loved me enough to work for the enemy. What did yours do? Push you to become a murderer. Isn't that lovely?" The light, bell-like laugh of the deceased Sky Arcobaleno ripped through Mukuro… she would never say such things.

"You're going to get them all killed. All of them. Even if you wanted to become a murderer, did you **have** to drag them with you? I mean, really… selfish selfish selfish."

"NO! I didn't! I told them not to!" Tsuna's face lifted in anguish and his eyes finally met Mukuro's heterochromatic gaze.

"Tsunayoshi-kun…" The deeper voice of the illusionist seemed to break some barrier in his Sky's mind, as he found himself able to move forward. He practically ran the couple steps to the small man, wrapping him in his arms. "My Tsunayoshi-kun, what are you doing? Why are you here?" He rocked them both gently, glaring at the ground where the blackened wings lay.

"M-mukuro-kun… w-what? How?" Tsuna whimpered, burying his head in the illusionist's chest. "I'm so lost… I can't… I can't find my way out and everyone hates me… I'm a murderer, Mukuro-kun… I'm so evil, and everything hurts so much…"

"You're not evil! Why would you…?" He glanced at the landscape, and down at the wings before growling softly. That damned Arcobaleno bastard… "No one hates you, my little love… You're not evil, and you're not a murderer." The Mist sighed softly. "Trust me, I would know the difference."

"Y-you're not evil, Mukuro… you're not…"

"Even now, even like this, defending me? I am the least deserving of your praise and trust, Tsunayoshi-kun. You are as close to evil as I am to being an angel. Why haven't you talked to me?" He couldn't help the soft growl… he thought the Sky trusted him with more than just his body.

"C-can't… everyone… everyone hates me…" In a place where only true feelings could be spoken, those whimpered words ripped through the illusionist, breaking his heart.

"No one hates you, Tsunayoshi-kun. No one. Especially not me. Why would you think that?"

"Y-you're still stuck with the Mafia… Onii-san and Yamamoto got drug in… should never have had to deal with it… Hibari-san hates being away from Namimori… I let Gokudera-kun down… I killed, Mukuro. I killed. I promised you… all of you… I'd be different!" He sobbed loudly, pulling away to bury his face in his hands.

Mukuro made himself a promise to seriously try to maim that damned Sun Arcobaleno. Tsuna obviously needed recovery time he hadn't bothered to give him... "If you won't believe only my word, dear Tsunayoshi-kun, then maybe you'll believe everyone else."

"No… No, they can't know! They can't… Reborn'll kill me… it's not 'boss-like' to…"

"I do not give a fuck what that sometimes-baby thinks, Vongola!" Mukuro's words snapped from his lips like ice, making Tsuna look up at him. "They are your friends, even Puppy-kun and the Skylark… and **none** of us knew you were still this distressed. That's not a failing on your part, my love; it's definitely a failing on his… and ours." He pulled the brunet back into his arms, kissing the top of his head. "First and foremost, I do not, could not, and will not **ever** hate you. I told you years ago that I would possess you… do you truly think I'd let it go now that everything I've ever wanted is in my grasp?" He tightened his arms around the smaller male to prove his point. "I love you, Tsunayoshi-kun. That fact will never change, no matter how stained you feel your hands have become. Remember, my own… your hands will always be lily-white compared to mine."

"But, Mukuro-kun…"

"But nothing. I am with you by choice. I am not forced to be here, and no one else is either. We have **all** made our own decisions, and there was and is nothing you can say that would make us change our minds." The Mist pulled the fluffy brunet head back to his chest, kissing his hair. "Please, let me prove it to you."

"I don't know how… but… i-if you want…" Tsuna was shaking, attempting to take comfort in the warmth of his illusionist's arms.

Mukuro nodded and waved a hand, parting the layers of Tsuna's subconscious easily, creating a 'window' of sorts. Utilizing their link from junior high, he accessed the Storm's mind, allowing them to see through the silveret's eyes. "Watch, Tsunayoshi-kun."

_"Juudaime…" Hayato's hands ran through fluffy brown hair, leaning over Mukuro's shoulder as they slept. He bit his lip at the stressed expression on his Boss' face. "We're all waiting for you now… we're all worried…" His hands tightened in Tsuna's hair_ _and a small trickle of blood slipped down his lip. "Please, Tsuna… you're scaring me… Wake up now…" When all he was met with was a pained sigh, he released his grip and left, shoulders bowed._

_Takeshi was leaning against the wall, waiting for him. "Any change?"_

_"No… nothing. The pineapple bastard is sleeping with him, but that's nothing new. I'm not even sure he's eating, honestly… he hasn't left the room since Juudaime passed out."_

_"I know… but it's been two days. We should at least bring him up some dinner tonight. Hopefully he'll be awake enough to eat." The swordsman sighed heavily. "I guess it'd be too much to hope that Tsuna would be awake to eat too, huh?"_

_"Let's go, baka… Juudaime'll be all right." He startled when Takeshi put his arm over his shoulder._

_"Maa, of course he will. So let's pull it together, huh?"_

_"But… it's just a fever. Why isn't he waking up? Damn that baka hentai doctor for not being around when we need him..." The silveret's fist slammed into his open palm in irritation._

_"Maybe it's not." Takeshi scratched the back of his head. "I mean, Tsuna's not normally one to get sick, ya know? So… maybe there's something else going on?"_

_Hayato stopped, staring up at the taller Guardian. "What do you mean?"_

_"Eh… it might be nothing… but it was something Hibari-san said the other day. He's not normally one to be all talkative, but about two days before Tsuna got sick, he stopped me and Sempai in the hall, and mentioned that Tsuna was really distracted. Sempai said it was because he wasn't sleeping, but…" Takeshi's shoulders drooped a bit. "I didn't bother paying attention because it was Hibari-san and Sempai, ya know? I figured if Tsuna wasn't sleeping, he'd come talk to us… we're his best friends, after all."_

_Hayato smacked his forehead with his palm and sighed. "Yakyuubaka..." He growled softly, but relented when Takeshi flinched. "What's done is done now… but dammit, next time, __**say**__ something." He threw a worried glance back at his Boss' door. "When the pineapple bastard wakes up, we'll see if maybe he knows something that'll help…"_

Mukuro released his link, noting that the rain had slacked off, and the clouds were becoming lighter. Slowly, the landscape was calming around them. He let out a soft, relieved sigh before lifting Tsuna's chin and kissing him.

"They're… worried." Tsuna bit his lip, looking up into the heterochromatic eyes he'd fallen in love with. Tears slid down his cheeks as he tried to wrap his mind around what he'd just heard. "But… they know what I did…"

"Yes, they do. They know that you saved us all. You're not a murderer, Tsunayoshi-kun. You're a savior. You protected the people who you loved, and people you don't even know." He kissed him again, cupping his cheek. "You did what none of the rest of us had the strength, or the will to do. You stood between Byakuran and the world… and won."

Tsuna closed his eyes, and Mukuro watched as his mental landscape evened out into the soft green field that he'd long ago equated with his gentle lover. "Thank you… I'm sorry to have been such a bother…"

"You are never a bother to me, my own. I love you. But don't you think it's time we got back?"

"I'm still not sure how to get back." The brunet sighed, looking around. "Or if I want to… it's always so peaceful when I'm here with you."

"Your Guardians need you, my Tsunayoshi-kun. I need you. It's time to wake up now."

* * *

"It's time to wake up now. Come, Tsunayoshi-kun. Come back to us now."

Tsuna's eyes fluttered, then slowly slid open, looking up to see Mukuro's relieved smile. He covered his eyes with his hand, wincing a bit. "S-so bright…"

Mukuro swooped down and captured his lips in a deep kiss, overjoyed to hear his voice and see his eyes again. He pulled the petite brunet tight against his chest, whispering softly in his ear. "Don't ever do that again, my Tsunayoshi-kun. I could not stand having you so far from me…" When he received a gentle nod in return, he loosened his grip, kissing him again softly.

A light knock at the door broke them apart regretfully as the Storm and the Rain walked in. It only took a second for them to place what was different. Thankfully, Takeshi had the tray of food, since Hayato was across the room and tackling Tsuna into the bed, regardless of the fact that he had to dive over Mukuro to do so. "Juudaime! You're awake!"

"Maa, Dera, let him breathe… he just woke up." Takeshi's eyes narrowed slightly as he set the tray of food on a side table. "How're you feeling, Tsuna?"

"G-gokudera-kun… Yamamoto…" Tsuna gave them a gentle smile, rubbing the silveret's back. "Better. Much, much better, actually."

"It's about time you stopped lazing about in bed, Dame-Tsuna." The Arcobaleno's cold voice from the doorway made everyone turn. Tsuna shrunk back a bit, not quite huddling in Hayato's arms.

Mukuro stood fluidly; despite his exhaustion, he was not letting the hitman avoid this particular responsibility. "Perhaps it's time that you actually took note of your student, instead of pushing him into another trap without making sure he's recovered from the last one."

Reborn shaded his eyes with his fedora while Hayato looked down at Tsuna. "J-juudaime?"

"Does this have to do with you not sleeping, Tsuna?" Takeshi walked over, unobtrusively putting himself between the brunet and the Arcobaleno.

"N-no… Mukuro-kun, it's all right… really…" Tsuna tried to get up, but Hayato's arms tightened, pulling him down and behind the swordsman again.

"Oya, it's not all right, Tsunayoshi-kun. It's not all right that you still believe you are responsible for Yuni's death, nor is it all right that you believe yourself a murderer for dealing with Byakuran. It's not all right that these things plague your sleep and have infected your subconscious." He glared at the hitman, who was frowning back at him.

"Dame-Tsuna, is this true?"

"…. I'm sorry, Reborn." Tsuna ducked his head, fighting back tears. "I didn't want to ruin anyone's happiness. We were all so glad to be home. I just…" His lip quivered and the Storm pulled his head into his shoulder, glaring at nothing in particular. How could they have missed this?

"You really are my dame-est student ever. Even Dino knew when to tell me something was bothering him…"

"It's not just you, Reborn!" Tsuna sat up, his caramel eyes shining with unshed tears. "It's not always just you! Yamamoto had just gotten his father back! Hibari-san had a ton of work to do for the Disciplinary committee! Gokudera-kun had found out really personal information about his parents! What gives me the right to drop everything on their shoulders?!" He was almost yelling in frustration and grief, his hands balled in the blankets. As he looked down, dark spots appeared in his lap and his shoulders shook. "O-oniisan is dealing with Kyoko-chan and his parents… Mukuro-kun is still recovering from Vendicare and Chrome-chan is busy dealing with him, Ken and Chikusa." His voice had dropped to almost a whisper, twisted and sarcastic. "A _boss_ isn't supposed to be selfish, right, Reborn? I shouldn't be dumping my crap on them…"

"Knock it off, Tsuna!" The sharp command came, unexpectedly, from Takeshi. "You're not our Boss first… you're ALWAYS our friend first. Do you really think any of us would turn you away?"

"Yakyuubaka…" Hayato's warning growl was met with a sharp glare from the swordsman.

"No. Dammit, Dera, you keep coddling him and saying you're his right hand man, but you missed it too! We all did. Are we your friends, Tsuna, or just your subordinates?" He was shaking slightly now… Tsuna was the first true friend he'd had and he couldn't stand even the thought that it might not be reciprocated.

"Of course you're my friends." Tsuna looked up at him, confused and sad. "I never think of you as subordinates…"

"Then start acting like it. I don't care what else is going on in my life… if there's something wrong with you, or with Dera, or with Mukuro, I want to know about it!" He ignored the illusionist's stunned glance, focusing on his two best friends. "Seriously, you guys are the worst for just letting people help you."

Hayato blinked and opened his mouth, then snapped it closed. He couldn't really argue the point. "And Juu – Tsuna, remember, **you're** the reason that Yamamoto-san is alive. And the reason that aniki was able to tell me about my mother. If you hadn't been able to stop Byakuran, none of this would have been possible at all. No one blames you for that. You should have just talked to us."

The Rain and the Mist both sat on the edge of the bed, and the Storm relinquished his hold on their small boss so Mukuro could pull him into his arms. Hayato and Takeshi each took one of his hands. No one noticed Reborn walk out as they comforted their sobbing friend. It took him some time, but Tsuna was finally able to explain in reality what his subconscious had screamed at the illusionist. And when all three of them wrapped their arms around him, told him they loved him and could never hate him… the Sky's tears were soft with relief and joy. He finally felt free of the shackles that had held him bound since their return.


End file.
